is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
