Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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