i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
