i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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