i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
