The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
