We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
