If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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