I think my fart just growled at me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My pussy is not your playground.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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