You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
