Apparently you make a good broom.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
