He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
