So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
