i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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