If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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