I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize