Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize