how can u be prego again
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
