My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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