aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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