I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
