We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Come share oat with me in your robe
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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