so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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