No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
where are my eyebrows?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
