But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
