yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
God I need to hump something, right now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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