And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
