sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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