Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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