yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize