It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
