You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just tell him i said nine months
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think a kid would responsible me up
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
