Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
