hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
