Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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