But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
