Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
not ubering you a puppy
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
