sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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