okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
