why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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