its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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