Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
