I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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