I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
