dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I want to be your penis for a week.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
