I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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