Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm like, not good at living.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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