I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
