Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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