in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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