I want to have your abortion
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
3pm strippers are depressing
I will be naked everywhere
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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