Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
