I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
