Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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