I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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