So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Randomize
