1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize