My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
