don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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