i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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