Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
