Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
