I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
