The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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