im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
