Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
