He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
