Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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