Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
