don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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