think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
