i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
