So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
