Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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