first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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