What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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