sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
